The Girl Who Could (Formerly) Eat Anything

Getting fit and taking names

Thursday, November 29

I had every intention of working out yesterday, but I apparently started my period. The ablation has prevented bleeding (yay!) but I still had all the other symptoms, including that lovely feeling as though your uterus is going to fall out. I forgot what that felt like after all these years. I also stepped on the scale this morning and my slight gain is disappearing, so that was probably water retention.

WP: (0 remain)
AP: (4 total) (0 remain)

Meal 1: Caramel Greek yogurt, hot chocolate (4) (260)
Meal 2: Salad, chocolate, peanut butter (13) (585)
Meal 3: Veggie burger with cheese, banana (8) (460)

Total: (25) (1,305)
APs: None

GHGs
Water — yes
Lean protein — yes
Whole grains — yes
Oils — yes
Dairy — yes
Exercise — no
Fruits and vegetables – yes

November 30, 2012 Posted by | Menus, Nothing More Than Feelings, Progress | Leave a comment

November 26, 2012

A little update since it’s been a while. Don’t let the weight tracker to the right fool you. I was actually down to 152 pounds without much effort, but then the lack of effort caught up and there was Thanksgiving and all of that, so I gained a bit back. But the good news is that I was losing and NOT gaining anymore, so I think if I get serious about this weight loss thing, I might actually finally have some success. I just need to avoid a repeat of yesterday.

I almost was going to wait a week to start posting here again. I had a perfect day yesterday until I went to a friend’s house and ate truffles and cheesecake and I was debating whether I should track it or just move on. But I decided to track it and see if I can manage to salvage the week. I don’t know yet if I can, but I’m going to make an effort.

I updated my other blog this morning about some life goals, including my fitness goals. But I wanted to reiterate the fitness goals here. Besides the obvious of eating less (I already eat mostly healthy, just too much sometimes), I am striving to get in a half hour of yoga daily plus an hour of more strenuous exercise, including three days a week lifting weights. I probably will only get two weight days this week, but next week I will do better.

So on that note, my very ugly food journal from yesterday awaits:

WP: (4 remain)
AP: (4 total) (4 remain)

Meal 1: Key lime Greek yogurt, hot chocolate (6) (310)
Meal 2: Salad, chocolate, peanut butter (13) (585)
Meal 3: Veggie burger with cheese, banana (8) (460)
Meal 4: Strawberry cheesecake, chocolate caramel truffles (25) (954)

Total: (52) (2,309)
APs: 1 hour run/walk (4) (460)

GHGs
Water — yes
Lean protein — yes
Whole grains — yes
Oils — yes
Dairy — yes
Exercise — yes
Fruits and vegetables — yes

November 27, 2012 Posted by | Menus, Nothing More Than Feelings, Progress, The Past | Leave a comment

In the Saddle Again

I decided to just take last week off. I gained .2 after a perfect week and six days of workouts and I was just feeling like there was no point until I got my hormones sorted, so I didn’t track all week and I didn’t really exercise except a little on Saturday. I ate pizza twice and went out for drinks and dinner on Thursday (TWO key lime martinis). I did gain another .2, but considering my terrible diet and lack of exercise, I count that as a gain.

I had the Mirena removed on Tuesday and started back on the pill. I’ve been really low on energy and hungrier than I’ve been in I don’t remember how long. I’d thought my lack of appetite was due to reducing my intake over a long period, but it seems it was probably actually hormonal. That’s going to be a bit of a challenge, but I’ll work with it. If my metabolism is working again, that’s all that matters.

I’ll begin tracking again today and updating the blog starting tomorrow.

September 24, 2012 Posted by | Nothing More Than Feelings, Progress | Leave a comment

Monday, September 10

The weekend was a bust. I ate healthy and exercised, but I was especially hungry for three days straight and ate too much. I also maintained my weight from the week before, so I guess I can’t blame sodium for the gain. I have my doctor’s appointment today and I’m hoping it’s the end of this IUD nightmare, but I may have to wait a week. I have an appointment with the gallbladder surgeon the same day next week. Oh joy of joys.

Anyway, I’m back to counting points. I also decided no more indulgence days. If something comes up, fine. But eating too much junk in one day ended up making me feel not very well at all.

WPs: 31 remain
APs: (4) (4 remain)

Meal 1: Peanut butter toast (3) (190)
Meal 2: Stir-fried veggies and tofu with cheese and sour cream, chocolate, peanut butter (11) (570)
Meal 3: Vegetarian chili (6) (326)
Meal 4: Smoothie (5) (364)

Total: 25 (1,450)

Exercise: Weights, walk/jog (4) (419)

September 11, 2012 Posted by | Menus, Nothing More Than Feelings, Progress | Leave a comment

Monday, September 3

I was up two pounds this week, but I weighed Sunday morning after having about 4,300 mg of sodium on Saturday, most later in the evening. So I don’t know if that’s a true gain. I’ll find out this Sunday. I have a strong feeling even if I didn’t gain that much that I didn’t lose. The pattern of the last couple years would suggest that.

My Labor Day eating was not ideal and I didn’t even track it, really. I tracked lunch, but not dinner since I was at a party. I’ll just say I ate too much. I decided to not do points this week since Monday was such a wash. I’m tracking calories, though, and trying to take it easy the rest of this week.

Meal 1: Peanut butter toast
Meal 2: Smoothie
Meal 3: Two veggie burgers on buns, fat free refried bean dip, hummus, pasta salad, too many mini cream puffs to count, brownies

Exercise: Weights, run/walk (419)

September 5, 2012 Posted by | Menus, Progress | Leave a comment

Where to go from here?

Well, I managed a less than 1 pound loss last week. My average daily calories (net) were 958 and I exercised every day except Friday, and even then I had a softball game so I got in some activity (we won, by the way — last game of the season!).

I left 20 activity points on the table. I didn’t really do it on purpose. I’m not even deliberately eating so little. It’s just that I am not hungry enough to eat more. I work all day, so I can’t constantly eat. Then I try to exercise after work, which takes an hour or more, then a shower and exercise actually stunts my appetite, so by the time I’m hungry, I eat my dinner and have my smoothie and it’s bed time.

I know one school of thought is to eat more. And that actually used to work well for me. I saw my highest losses when I ate every last point Weight Watchers allowed. But not anymore. When I do that now, I maintain or gain. But then again, when I eat less, I maintain or gain.

Yes, I’m lighter (slightly) this week than last. But that’s my pattern, anyway. I bounce week to week between 152 and 154 and anywhere in between. It doesn’t matter if I eat more or I eat less. I don’t know how this is even possible, but it’s getting beyond annoying. Weight training isn’t making a difference. My measurements are the same.

I’m going to keep tracking and exercising as much as I can for a few more weeks and see what happens. If I see results, I’ll keep going. If I don’t, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I guess keep going, anyway, because at least I’m not gaining weight anymore. I’m definitely going to try the pill again after I get my IUD out, but that won’t be for a while.

I have a challenge coming the next two weeks. My daughter is graduating high school next week. A lot of people are coming to visit. It’s going to make fitting in a workout difficult and I know there is going to be a lot of food and alcohol flowing and I have a tough time controlling myself around the kind of food we’ll have.

One thing seems to be consistent in my life: Every time I commit to a routine, something like this comes up. Holidays, birthdays, graduations, trips out of town … I’m starting to lose my motivation to even bother.

May 21, 2012 Posted by | Nothing More Than Feelings, Progress | Leave a comment

Hopeless?

Well, I tried eating more. I tried eating less. The blood tests from my physical back in October were all normal.

I know it’s been a while since I posted here. There’s been no point. Nothing is happening. My weight fluctuates week to week by exactly 2 pounds. One week I’m 152, the next 154 and then back again. No.Matter.What.I.Do.

I think it’s my birth control. I have the Mirena IUD. The company website says weight problems occur in fewer than 5% of users. Lucky me! I can’t win the Lottery with those odds, but I can get fat.

The month after I got the thing, I gained 5 pounds back of the 36 I’d lost and kept off for two years. I figured it was due to a week of lousy eating and lack of exercise because I was out of town for work. But those 5 pounds were very stubborn and never actually came off. I gained another 10 and finally got very serious with Weight Watchers again. I lost a few pounds, very slowly, but it didn’t stay off.

Finally, I was up 20! And that’s when I got really serious. And then it took me three months to lose 8 pounds, of which it took one week to regain 5. That was in September last year.

I tried eating more. I tried eating less. I started seriously lifting weights. I eat very healthy and by no measure of anyone’s opinion (except maybe an anorexic) do I overeat calories. But the scale won’t budge. And neither will the inches (yes, I measure).

Today in Florida is quite cool so instead of my usual sundress, I decided to wear pants to work. I bought these pants a couple years ago and they’ve always been a bit on the loose side, even right out of the dryer. But today, after months and months of working out and eating healthy, they are too tight. I am wearing them, but they are tight around my waist and tight around my thighs.

And I want to curl into a ball and cry. This is not fair.

Do I have to just simply stop eating to lose any weight? Would that even work? I’d probably be the first person to take in 0 calories and still gain. I’m ready to just give up. Eat what I want in whatever quantities I want and take all that time and energy spent working out and do something else with it. What difference will it even make?

April 23, 2012 Posted by | Nothing More Than Feelings, Progress | 9 Comments

Eat More, Lose Weight?

It’s counterintuitive, I know. I’m still struggling with the concept and my brain fights me daily. But my brain is losing because it can’t argue with results.

Twelve days ago, I posted that despite severely restricting calories and exercising, I was gaining weight left and right. I had to pull out my fat pants. I was ready to throw in the towel.

Instead, I decided I had nothing to lose and decided to up my calorie intake. Nothing drastic. I was gaining weight at 1,200 net calories and I was gaining weight at 1,000 net calories, so I decided to try 1,500.

I can’t say I hit that every day. I usually eat about 1,800 to 1,900 in a day (sometimes more, sometimes less) and I work off about 2,500 to 3,000 calories (that I count) each week. Sometimes more, sometimes less. I think somewhere in the week it all evens out.

And since I started that two weeks ago? I’ve lost 2.6 pounds. I’ve had losses two weeks in a row. I was 152.8 the day I wrote that post. Last Sunday, I was 152.4. It was small, but it was a loss. Yesterday morning — after a Friday night of fried lasagna and bread sticks with alfredo sauce at Olive Garden and fried dough at the fair (where we also walked around for more than two hours) — I weighed 150.2. That’s 2.2 pounds this week. And that’s pretty awesome.

Don’t get me wrong. Most days I’m eating eggs, vegetables, fruit, whole grains — the healthy stuff. I’m just eating more of it. And it’s working. And I’m thrilled.

And now I’ve written all about it and I wonder if I’m going to gain this week. Because, of course, that’s how it works.

The fat pants? Friday night, I fit into a pair of my smaller jeans. They were a bit snug, but looked good and were comfortable.

November 14, 2011 Posted by | Nothing More Than Feelings, Progress | 4 Comments

And the Fat Clothes Came Out

Over three long months, I struggled to lose eight pounds with many ups and downs that didn’t make sense. Then one week, for no clear reason, I gained four back. And now I’m up six, so ultimately, since July, I’ve lost exactly two pounds.

TWO POUNDS.

I don’t even know what to do. I remember a couple months ago trying on my favorite jeans and they were too tight. But two weeks later, I could get them on. Now? I doubt I could get them over my hips.

And there’s no reason for it. I’m eating right. I’m exercising. I haven’t been updating this blog, but I’ve been tracking.

I tried eating less. I tried eating more. Nothing works.

I had a physical last week and the doctor mentioned something about my heart rate being very good. So I strapped on my heart rate monitor at home and took my resting heart rate. It’s at the high end of “excellent” and very, very, very close to “athlete.” My blood pressure is great. Everything is great.

Except I’m fat and my body seems to be telling me there’s nothing I can do about it.

Last night, I pulled out the tub that has all the clothes in it that are too big or too small. I had to pull out the jeans I bought the year I hit my highest ever weight, and even they were almost snug on me. Well, one pair was a bit tight. The other pair were actually a bit loose, but they did fit. And I wore them last night to the mall.

My fat pants.

The pants I was ready to give away because they were so huge on me not that long ago.

And I still don’t know why.

I had blood drawn Saturday and they’re running a thyroid panel. If that comes back OK, then I don’t know what I’m going to do.

November 2, 2011 Posted by | Nothing More Than Feelings, Progress | 3 Comments

September 28

I’m not even going to try to put together my points for yesterday. I didn’t exercise and then I went to a friend’s for a party after my daughter’s swim meet and stuffed my face with macaroni salad, Capri salad, deviled eggs, some Italian pasta thing, a mushroom “burger” on a white bun, a cookie, a tiny cupcake that I think was just sugar in disguise and too many chocolate and peanut butter brownies.

So, I guess my weeklies and probably some of my APs are gone for good, but I’m not going to worry about it. I’m just going to take it easy on the food the rest of the week and hope I at least maintain. I don’t expect to lose anything.

The rest of my day was OK, though. It looked like this:

Breakfast: Orange juice, peanut butter sandwich (5)
Lunch: Almonds, chocolate, peanut butter, asparagus in hollandaise (11)
Snack: Banana (2)

No exercise.

September 29, 2011 Posted by | Menus, Nothing More Than Feelings, Progress | Leave a comment