The Girl Who Could (Formerly) Eat Anything

Getting fit and taking names

Hopeless?

Well, I tried eating more. I tried eating less. The blood tests from my physical back in October were all normal.

I know it’s been a while since I posted here. There’s been no point. Nothing is happening. My weight fluctuates week to week by exactly 2 pounds. One week I’m 152, the next 154 and then back again. No.Matter.What.I.Do.

I think it’s my birth control. I have the Mirena IUD. The company website says weight problems occur in fewer than 5% of users. Lucky me! I can’t win the Lottery with those odds, but I can get fat.

The month after I got the thing, I gained 5 pounds back of the 36 I’d lost and kept off for two years. I figured it was due to a week of lousy eating and lack of exercise because I was out of town for work. But those 5 pounds were very stubborn and never actually came off. I gained another 10 and finally got very serious with Weight Watchers again. I lost a few pounds, very slowly, but it didn’t stay off.

Finally, I was up 20! And that’s when I got really serious. And then it took me three months to lose 8 pounds, of which it took one week to regain 5. That was in September last year.

I tried eating more. I tried eating less. I started seriously lifting weights. I eat very healthy and by no measure of anyone’s opinion (except maybe an anorexic) do I overeat calories. But the scale won’t budge. And neither will the inches (yes, I measure).

Today in Florida is quite cool so instead of my usual sundress, I decided to wear pants to work. I bought these pants a couple years ago and they’ve always been a bit on the loose side, even right out of the dryer. But today, after months and months of working out and eating healthy, they are too tight. I am wearing them, but they are tight around my waist and tight around my thighs.

And I want to curl into a ball and cry. This is not fair.

Do I have to just simply stop eating to lose any weight? Would that even work? I’d probably be the first person to take in 0 calories and still gain. I’m ready to just give up. Eat what I want in whatever quantities I want and take all that time and energy spent working out and do something else with it. What difference will it even make?

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April 23, 2012 - Posted by | Nothing More Than Feelings, Progress

9 Comments »

  1. Oh, Renee – we ARE related. It is a tough battle and one you are certainly not waging or questioning on your own. I do not have the answer, but know that with your determination, you WILL see the results you seek. It is not fair, is it? But we focus on it everyday. We want to be healthy, and we want to look good. As we age, our bodies do change. That is NOT an excuse to give up, but maybe a reason to refocus. Changing up the work out? Jumpstarting the diet with more of one thing and less of the other? I am sorry you are struggling, but want you tp know, you are NOT alone. I am in a similar boat and we cannot give up hope….KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT!!!!!!

    Comment by Cousin Evy | April 23, 2012 | Reply

    • The thing is, the first time I tried losing — sincerely tried because I really didn’t need to most of my life — I had no problem. I followed Weight Watchers to the letter and was dropping nearly 2 pounds a week. It’s only since I got this stupid IUD that I started having problems. And it’s not that I’m huge, but I definitely have flab to lose and am well above a healthy BMI for my height. I’m so frustrated!!!

      Comment by Renee | April 23, 2012 | Reply

      • Well, I know you are not huge!! Neither am I. But I exercise religiously and try to eat healthy. It is in my genes, I think. I was not meant to be a skinny mini, despite my 5″1′ frame. A girl with ciurves. I have had this concern most of my life. In the 9th grade , I went to weight watchers. I was the same height I am now. I weighed 111 on my first weighin. I thought I was going to DIE at that weight! What I would give for 111 now!???!!!!???!!

        Comment by Cousin Evy | April 23, 2012

      • I’d kill for 111. It’s crazy, though. We’re related through such teeny, tiny women! Why didn’t we inherit that gene? Anyway, I think you’re gorgeous and always did. I would never think you’re overweight. 🙂 We’re always so much harder on ourselves. I just wish I had an explanation for why the scale won’t move and that it was something easy to fix.

        Comment by Renee | April 23, 2012

  2. LOL! Thanks for the shout out. I would never think you “struggled” unless you wrote about it. I have some events coming up and I desperately want to lose some weight too. Re: our teeny tiny ancestors…you grandmother, my aunt Evy, was TEENY. I have a pair of her long leather gloves. I could not put a toe in them, let alone my hand. She was SO little. My mom was a size 2 when she got married (Oh, and that was a REAL 2, not like 2s of today). When I was growing up, she had to watch her weight. Wea rea shaped differently. But over the past few years she has shrunk to nothing. She is almost fraile, she is so little. I am made of my dad’s Hungarian stock!! Curves on top and bottom. Oh well, I am off to work. Have a good day and don’t let the number on the scale define you or your value! XXOO

    Comment by Cousin Evy | April 23, 2012 | Reply

    • I’m totally an hourglass and I’m OK with that. I like my SHAPE, just not my size. Or where some of the fat deposits (hello, top rear of my hips!!!). Oh well. There’s only so much control I have, right?

      I need to get down to see your parents very soon. Things have been crazy up here. Let me know if you plan on a trip so I can see you guys, too!

      Enjoy your day.

      Comment by Renee | April 23, 2012 | Reply

  3. I can understand the frustration over the weight. Does working out make you feel better in general though? I find that when I’m working out I feel happier and healthier all around.

    Comment by meeshelleneal | April 23, 2012 | Reply

    • Yes, definitely. I know there are reasons for healthy eating and exercise beyond weight and body shape. And, honestly, I don’t think I can stop. I have a bit of an addiction to exercise. I do get that endorphin rush from it and all. I’m just so annoyed with my body, you know?

      Comment by Renee | April 23, 2012 | Reply

      • I do know, and it sucks 😦

        Comment by meeshelleneal | April 23, 2012


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