The Girl Who Could (Formerly) Eat Anything

Getting fit and taking names

A Break

I’m taking the week off from tracking. I gained .4 last week, for no obvious reason. I worked out — hard. I tracked everything I ate, and didn’t go over my points.

In the past, this has resulted in an average loss of 1.8 pounds per week. This time, I’m averaging just above half a pound per week. I would feel better about that if I consistently lost half a pound each week. What’s bugging me is the lose one week/gain the next pattern my weight loss is taking. It would also bother me less if my measurements were going down, but they’re not budging, either.

Yes, I’ve lost a net of 6 pounds, but my waist and hips are exactly the same.

I met my friend C for a run (which ended up being a walk) yesterday morning and she said I looked thinner, but it must have been what I was wearing because I am definitely not thinner.

I’m frustrated and angry. I feel betrayed by my body. I have moments where I just want to stop eating altogether, but even if I took those thoughts seriously, I don’t have the willpower to do it, anyway. I get hungry. And then I need to eat. And I do. So no worries about me developing an eating disorder, but sometimes I feel like if I could just go two weeks on minimal food, I could lose enough weight to feel better and then start eating again.

With the way things are going, though, I’d probably gain it all back in one day of normal eating, anyway. So it wouldn’t be worth it, would it?

I just don’t know what to do. I choose healthy foods. I eat low-calorie. I don’t overeat carbs or undereat protein. I don’t eat a LOT of food. And I’m active.

So why can’t I lose this weight? Why is this such a struggle? Why did I put so much back on to begin with?

I was thinking last week that maybe I should have my thyroid tested again, but then I dropped 3 pounds so I decided maybe I’d gotten over the hump.

WRONG!

I suspect my birth control. I switched from the pill to an IUD with hormone two years ago and my appetite changed and it seemed to be more difficult to lose weight. The doctor insists that can’t be. She said the hormone doesn’t leave my uterus, so it shouldn’t affect weight.

I think she’s wrong.

So I’m kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place if the problem really is my birth control. I switched off the pill for a reason. I’ll spare the details, but it wasn’t working correctly anymore. And I can’t go off birth control altogether for similar reasons, the details of which I will also spare you. I’ll just say the reason  for the switch and the reason I can’t go off of it are not related to getting pregnant.

Honestly, I wouldn’t turn down a hysterectomy at this point and then see what happens. But I don’t think major surgery is the answer, right?

The good news is, I haven’t had much of an appetite the last few days, so overeating won’t be a problem. Not that it seems to make a difference. I only ate 16 points yesterday simply because I wasn’t hungry and I even felt a little sick at the thought of eating. I know that will pass soon enough. Probably today.

So, anyway, I’m not going to track this week. I didn’t write anything down the last two days and I’m not going to again until next Sunday. I’m going to eat healthy and try not to eat too much and I’m going to exercise. But I’m not going to write it down.

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September 6, 2011 Posted by | Nothing More Than Feelings | 9 Comments