The Girl Who Could (Formerly) Eat Anything

Getting fit and taking names

July 10 and Some Thoughts

June 24 on St. George Island. I've gained 4 pounds since this photo and I didn't like it then!

Well, here I am again. My weight is WAY up. And I mean WAY up. I’m not far from my highest ever and that’s not a good feeling. I kept most of my initial loss off for a few years, but the last few months have been a whirlwind of gains and very few losses, bumping my weight up to the next decade and adding a whole point to my daily minimum per Weight Watchers. At this point, I either cry UNCLE or get a grip. Considering how uncomfortable I was yesterday wearing a pair of shorts that actually fit, I know that getting a grip is the only option.

I forgot how uncomfortable my clothes were at my heaviest. Shorts and pants that fit perfectly while I stood dug into my gut when I sat. I was self-conscious in almost every shirt I own. I hated it and I refuse to go back to it. So starting yesterday, I’m getting serious. I now have 39 pounds to lose to get to my goal.

One thing that’s eating at me (pun intended) is that I’m exercising a lot. I mean A LOT. I eat too many desserts for certain, but I shouldn’t be gaining this quickly with the amount of physical activity I have going on. Or maybe I’m just in denial about how much I eat. I will say, though, that my body is different at this weight now than the last time and I think that’s due to exercise. I don’t think I’m as big as I was, even though I weigh the same. This is because of how I look in the mirror and how clothes fit me. That’s a good thing, but I still don’t like that number. And no matter how many people tell me the number doesn’t matter, it still will matter to me.

Part of my problem is I don’t eat a high volume of food, but I eat high-calorie foods, so a little adds up quickly. I think I need to banish desserts and eating out to once a month and no more. And I’ll probably do them both together: a night out at a restaurant with a yummy dessert. I need willpower. There’s no way around it.

Thankfully, I have no trips planned for the rest of the summer. That means I have a certain amount of control over my environment that I don’t have when out of town. I just need a few months to get where I want to be and then I can maintain. I found maintenance much easier than trying to lose weight, so that should be a breeze. And I’ll have some wiggle room at 115 pounds that I don’t have now.

Notice under the About Me section that I’m once again recording my weight publicly and weekly. It must be done. This week’s weight is a little low. There was a number after the decimal, but I was in such shock at seeing 154 that I didn’t notice what the number was. I do think some of that was water retention because this morning the scale said 153. Hopefully, that means if I’m really good this week, next Sunday will show a huge loss — maybe even back into the 140s. I also deleted all the previous weights and am starting from scratch today.

I can only hope.

WPs:  35 (used 2) (33 remain)
APs: 5 (used 0) (5 remain)

Breakfast: Orange juice, oat bran cereal (6)
Snack: None
Lunch: None
Dinner: Tomato soup, almonds, pierogies (12)
Dessert: Smoothie (5)
Snack: Carrots
Exercise: Swim (5)
Total Points Used: 23

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July 11, 2011 - Posted by | Menus, Nothing More Than Feelings, Progress

22 Comments »

  1. Renee, Way to go for putting it all out there like you have and setting yourself up to stay motivated with the blog! Motivation really is key. And when it comes to food, moderation is key. Please don’t banish your deserts or your vices… banishing them will only make you want them more. Instead, try to be more mindful about the portions and portion sizes. Have your ice cream, but maybe use a coffee mug instead of a bowl…? If you like almonds, they’re a great source of fiber and they’re crunchy so you feel like you’ve eaten more than a handful, and plus they’re easy on the go.
    Again, way to go! Keep it up! And if you need a boost of support just let me know!

    Comment by Kat O'Brien | July 11, 2011 | Reply

    • I eat a serving of almonds almost every day. I know about portion control. The problem is that once I have a little, I want MORE. And like I said, willpower is an issue. So I just need to cut it out almost entirely or this won’t work. I’ve been “losing weight” for four years now, so the trial and error is over and I just have to learn from what’s worked and failed in the past.

      Comment by Renee | July 11, 2011 | Reply

  2. Yes, weight loss gets more frustrating for me as well, especially the older I get. I have had a very similar experience with exercising and not losing. Very discouraging! I’m confident you can do it, and even if you don’t lose the whole 39 (115 is seriously skinny!!), I think you’ll feel better. Good luck!

    Comment by Ellen | July 11, 2011 | Reply

    • When I was at 132, it was clear I could easily lose another 15 or so. I have a pretty small frame. But if I even just got back to 130, I’d be thrilled!

      If you want someone to keep you accountable, I’m happy to do it. The more people keeping track of each other, the better. 🙂

      Comment by Renee | July 11, 2011 | Reply

  3. About the exercise. Could it be that your body has gotten very efficient at what you are doing?

    I battle this same issue now and again. I really liked the article that Tracy posted on FB last night. If you are not friends with her I can send you a link.

    Also in regards to the exercise/portion control. Sometimes we get a little voice that tells us ‘we can afford to eat that, after all I ran X miles today’ Try to put this in reality by figuring out how many calories you burn vs cal of the food you want to eat. This I think is an eye opener for many of us.

    Good luck and I’m proud of you for a new commitment! Jeanie

    Comment by Jeanie L Vernarsky | July 11, 2011 | Reply

    • I don’t think it’s that my body is more efficient. I mix things up pretty well. I’m just eating too much.

      The problem is really that I can’t NOT eat certain things when they’re right in front of me. I know how many calories they are, but they’re there and I want to eat them! 🙂 It really does, at this point, just come down to willpower. I need to want it more than I want that piece of pie, you know?

      Comment by Renee | July 11, 2011 | Reply

      • Understand that.

        To get that under control for me I do have to go without those types of items until I can work them back into my life in a controlled manner.

        Comment by Jeanie L Vernarsky | July 11, 2011

  4. Stinks that as we age the body chemistry and whatnot changes and makes it harder for us to lose and keep weight off… grrr…
    I know portion control helps, but a lot like you, I just want more! I call it “open bag syndrom” – if the bag is open, it has to be empty! I just can’t eat a little and save some for another day… SO annoying!
    Oh, my dad told me that when/if you plateau, stop working out and stop “dieting” and do and eat whatever you want for just 2 days. Then go back to the routine and my brother-in-law said that the tip worked. Haven’t tried it yet tho. Just thought I’d throw it out there for everyone.

    Comment by Kat O'Brien | July 11, 2011 | Reply

    • When I was following Weight Watchers religiously, I lost an average 1.8 per week for four months straight without a plateau. I’m not very concerned about that. When I do what I know I need to do, it works really well. I just need to do it.

      I don’t keep certain things in my house because I WILL eat them. If I have to get in my car and go somewhere to get them, I won’r bother. Part of the problem has been too many parties and traveling lately. I eat what I shouldn’t and too much of it and then it takes me a while after a trip to get back into a routine.

      Comment by Renee | July 11, 2011 | Reply

      • Ahhh, I feel that! Parties and traveling are fun but havoc on the diet.
        I’ve got a willpower problem too… my boyfriend who lives with me is addicted to Pepsi and chocolate… so before him I NEVER had that stuff in the house…. now he’s living with me and while I can resist the Pepsi… chocolate/candy is a totally different story! But I’ve heard that willpower is a lot like a muscle, needs to be exercised – we just gotta exercize everything huh?! GRRR (lol)

        Comment by Kat O'Brien | July 11, 2011

      • I don’t really like soda, so that is not a problem. The candy? Yeah … right there with you! Luckily, Chris goes for the salty snacks and I like sweet. He does like ice cream, but not the kind *I* like, so it works out well.

        If you can’t resist chocolate, I HIGHLY recommend Green & Black’s 85% cocoa dark chocolate. It’s very rich. I eat six squares almost every day and it’s so rich that it’s enough, and fewer than 200 calories. I have several bars in my house at the same time and I don’t go over those six squares a day. You just have to break them off and put the rest away before you eat them. It’s very healthy — calcium, protein and iron! New Leaf, Publix and Walmart all carry it. And I’m not a dark chocolate fan normallty, but this stuff is like eating chocolate cheesecake.

        Comment by Renee | July 11, 2011

      • (And dark chocolate is an appetite suppressant, as is cinnamon.)

        Comment by Renee | July 11, 2011

  5. I feel your pain! I went to the doctor today and weighed in at almost 157. That’s the highest I’ve been in about 4 years. That coupled with the fact that I just don’t feel great let me know it’s time for a dietary overhaul. I just have to reach that point where I’m motivated enough to do it. I’m almost there seeing as I’m busting out of shorts that were previously loose on me! Good luck!

    Comment by lesleehorner | July 11, 2011 | Reply

    • You should start running with us. Doing a 5K a month is great motivation!

      Comment by Renee | July 11, 2011 | Reply

      • I wish I could run! I did for a while some years ago and my knees are just not cut out for it. I’m going to get a bike at the end of summer and start doing that. I just have to find some bike buddies!

        Comment by lesleehorner | July 11, 2011

  6. I love your honesty, Renee. The hardest thing I do is put on a bathing suit in public. Probably not too pleasant for the public either! But we’re planning a backpack trip to Acadia this fall, so I’ve got motivation to get aerobically healthy. My friends who have lost the weight and kept it off tell me it’s all about proportion control. I recently switched to only taking 3 bites of dessert. After that you don’t taste it as strongly anyway. Good luck!

    Comment by Leigh D. Muller | July 11, 2011 | Reply

    • Yeah … that three bites thing doesn’t work for me. My last bite always tastes just as good as my first. And the second slice of pie tastes just as good, still! I guess it’s probably true for most people, and maybe my whole entire weight issue is because of my faulty taste buds. 🙂

      I’m going to say again that you should join us for the 5K next month. Even if you walk it, at least you’ll have something to “train” for and that’ll keep you exercising.

      Comment by Renee | July 12, 2011 | Reply

      • Thanks for the invite, Renee. If anyone could talk me into a 5K in balmy, 3-digit August, it would be you. But I’m a wuss in the heat. The miles will have to go on our treadmill.

        As far as your excellent taste buds, they’re just like every other part of you; they get an extra kick out of life. There’s nothing wrong and a whole lot of right with that.

        Comment by Leigh D. Muller | July 12, 2011

  7. Renee, I have a problem with will power too!

    As a matter of fact, as I sit here and type…I have snacks in my hand!

    I have had moments so desperate that when I ran out of ice cream (and was too crave-driven to drive to the grocery store), I pulled ice cubes from the freezer and squirted the Magic Shell all over them. (I’m assuming everyone knows what Magic Shell is? It’s an addiction, don’t get started :D). I then let it harden and ate the chocolate, tossed the icecubes.

    So many factors, I do believe going through it all with the support of others is very helpful. Unless, of course, (like happens with my best friend) when we get together we eat and eat and meanwhile we talk about how we should be cutting back! 😀

    Thanks for sharing!

    Comment by tuesday2 | July 12, 2011 | Reply

    • Thankfully, as long as I don’t have the food right there, I won’t eat it. I would have gone without the ice cream. Although, I might have put the shell in a bowl in the fridge and eaten it, too! That’s good stuff.

      One thing that’s helped is all the foods that have trans fats in them (even when you have to read the label to know it’s there!). I won’t eat even a little bit of that. I’ll have high fructose corn syrup in an occassional treat, but not trans fat. That leaves out a LOT of stuff I used to eat a lot. I think Magic Shell has it. I considered doing Slim Fast for a quick loss, but read the ingredients and that even has it!

      I also have a trick with junk food: Before I buy something, I read the label and how many calories per serving. Most of the time, seeing a high number will make me put it back on the shelf.

      Comment by Renee | July 12, 2011 | Reply

  8. Sorry about the cupcake!! LOL. You can do it!

    Comment by renee Brick | July 12, 2011 | Reply

  9. you are so brave!

    Comment by mama mia | July 12, 2011 | Reply


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