I’ve been carefully tracking both calories and points since Monday. I’ve exercised every day. I have not had a single day that was below 1,500 calories. I’m lifting weights.
This morning, my scale said 154.4. Now, official weigh-in is Sunday, but back when I was actually having success with losing weight, I was always down mid-week. I’m not optimistic for Sunday, but we’ll see.
Well, I tried eating more. I tried eating less. The blood tests from my physical back in October were all normal.
I know it’s been a while since I posted here. There’s been no point. Nothing is happening. My weight fluctuates week to week by exactly 2 pounds. One week I’m 152, the next 154 and then back again. No.Matter.What.I.Do.
I think it’s my birth control. I have the Mirena IUD. The company website says weight problems occur in fewer than 5% of users. Lucky me! I can’t win the Lottery with those odds, but I can get fat.
The month after I got the thing, I gained 5 pounds back of the 36 I’d lost and kept off for two years. I figured it was due to a week of lousy eating and lack of exercise because I was out of town for work. But those 5 pounds were very stubborn and never actually came off. I gained another 10 and finally got very serious with Weight Watchers again. I lost a few pounds, very slowly, but it didn’t stay off.
Finally, I was up 20! And that’s when I got really serious. And then it took me three months to lose 8 pounds, of which it took one week to regain 5. That was in September last year.
I tried eating more. I tried eating less. I started seriously lifting weights. I eat very healthy and by no measure of anyone’s opinion (except maybe an anorexic) do I overeat calories. But the scale won’t budge. And neither will the inches (yes, I measure).
Today in Florida is quite cool so instead of my usual sundress, I decided to wear pants to work. I bought these pants a couple years ago and they’ve always been a bit on the loose side, even right out of the dryer. But today, after months and months of working out and eating healthy, they are too tight. I am wearing them, but they are tight around my waist and tight around my thighs.
And I want to curl into a ball and cry. This is not fair.
Do I have to just simply stop eating to lose any weight? Would that even work? I’d probably be the first person to take in 0 calories and still gain. I’m ready to just give up. Eat what I want in whatever quantities I want and take all that time and energy spent working out and do something else with it. What difference will it even make?