As the Scale Rises

I’ve been carefully tracking both calories and points since Monday. I’ve exercised every day. I have not had a single day that was below 1,500 calories. I’m lifting weights.

This morning, my scale said 154.4. Now, official weigh-in is Sunday, but back when I was actually having success with losing weight, I was always down mid-week. I’m not optimistic for Sunday, but we’ll see.

I’m annoyed.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Meal 1: Chai latte, chocolate covered banana chips (135) (4)
Meal 2: Vegetarian chili with 1.5 oz cheddar cheese and 3 T light sour cream, dark chocolate and peanut butter (546) (11 points)
Meal 3: Veggie burger with cheddar on whole wheat (306) (5)
Meal 4: Fruit smoothie with chocolate peanut butter (364) (5 points)

Total calories: 1,351
Total points: 25

Exercise: Weights (166) (1 AP)

10 weeklies
15 AP

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Meal 1: Vegetarian chili with 1.5 oz cheddar cheese and 3 T light sour cream, dark chocolate and peanut butter (546) (11 points)
Meal 2: Salad with hard-boiled eggs, feta and goat cheese and olive oil and vinegar dressing, 1 ounce almonds (476) (12 points)
Meal 3: Fruit smoothie with chocolate peanut butter (364) (5 points)

Total calories: 1,386
Total points: 28

Exercise: Walk/jog with hills, yoga (551) (5 AP)

14 weeklies
14 AP

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Meal 1: Chai latte, dark chocolate banana chips (135) (4 points)
Meal 2: Vegetarian chili with 1.5 oz cheddar cheese and 3 T light sour cream, dark chocolate and peanut butter (546) (11 points)
Meal 3: Salad with hard-boiled eggs, feta and goat cheese and olive oil and vinegar dressing (375) (9 points)
Meal 4: Fruit smoothie with chocolate peanut butter (364) (5 points)

Total calories: 1,420
Total points: 29

Exercise: Weights, walk/jog with hills (423) (4 AP)

21 weeklies
9 AP

Monday, April 23, 2012

I think it’s time to revive the daily public log. I’m logging on My Fitness Pal still, but this seems more “out there.” And who knows? Perhaps someone can spot my problem.

My week goes Monday through Sunday, so this is day 1 of my week. I weigh myself each Sunday morning. I will put each meal’s calories in the parentheses at the end of the line and total them at the end.

Meal 1: Chai latte, dark chocolate banana chips (135) (4 points)
Meal 2: Vegetarian chili with 1.5 oz cheddar cheese and 3 T light sour cream (326) (6 points)
Meal 3: Salad with hard-boiled eggs, feta and goat cheese and olive oil and vinegar dressing, 1 ounce almonds (476) (12 points)
Meal 4: Fruit smoothie with chocolate peanut butter (364) (5 points)

Total calories: 1,301
Total points: 27

Exercise: One hour walk/jog with hills (511) (5 AP)

29 weeklies
5 AP

Hopeless?

Well, I tried eating more. I tried eating less. The blood tests from my physical back in October were all normal.

I know it’s been a while since I posted here. There’s been no point. Nothing is happening. My weight fluctuates week to week by exactly 2 pounds. One week I’m 152, the next 154 and then back again. No.Matter.What.I.Do.

I think it’s my birth control. I have the Mirena IUD. The company website says weight problems occur in fewer than 5% of users. Lucky me! I can’t win the Lottery with those odds, but I can get fat.

The month after I got the thing, I gained 5 pounds back of the 36 I’d lost and kept off for two years. I figured it was due to a week of lousy eating and lack of exercise because I was out of town for work. But those 5 pounds were very stubborn and never actually came off. I gained another 10 and finally got very serious with Weight Watchers again. I lost a few pounds, very slowly, but it didn’t stay off.

Finally, I was up 20! And that’s when I got really serious. And then it took me three months to lose 8 pounds, of which it took one week to regain 5. That was in September last year.

I tried eating more. I tried eating less. I started seriously lifting weights. I eat very healthy and by no measure of anyone’s opinion (except maybe an anorexic) do I overeat calories. But the scale won’t budge. And neither will the inches (yes, I measure).

Today in Florida is quite cool so instead of my usual sundress, I decided to wear pants to work. I bought these pants a couple years ago and they’ve always been a bit on the loose side, even right out of the dryer. But today, after months and months of working out and eating healthy, they are too tight. I am wearing them, but they are tight around my waist and tight around my thighs.

And I want to curl into a ball and cry. This is not fair.

Do I have to just simply stop eating to lose any weight? Would that even work? I’d probably be the first person to take in 0 calories and still gain. I’m ready to just give up. Eat what I want in whatever quantities I want and take all that time and energy spent working out and do something else with it. What difference will it even make?