A Return to Sanity
I went grocery shopping Friday afternoon with every intention of picking up a week’s supply of Slim Fast and getting started on my new plan on Saturday.
Then I looked at the ingredients.
It has high fructose corn syrup, which I expected and was actually OK with the idea of having it daily for just a couple weeks. I try to avoid it, but at least it’s pretty much just corn and I can live with that. But I read a little further and found hydrogenated oil. Trans fats. Dr. Oz has done his job and scared me straight off ever ingesting even the tiniest bit of that, so I scrapped the Slim Fast plan and compromised with myself.
The bottom line is, even though it works, I’m tired of counting. Points, calories, all of it. I just want to live for a while. But I also still want to lose some weight and definitely don’t want to gain any.
The plan I came up with is based on some things I’ve noted about myself, one of which being that boredom and mindless activities make me feel hungry. Insatiably hungry. And even though I choose healthy foods and I measure them out and am careful about how much I ingest (I’m not really a binger at all), I still end up eating too much under those circumstances. Add to that weeks where I eat out more often or am invited to parties and it’s a recipe for disaster. That’s as much because I’m denying myself too much as that the food is just right there in front of me.
I do have my treats daily, but I’m so concerned with getting in enough fruits and vegetables and enough healthy oil and enough of this thing or that thing and I end up going a little too crazy when I let myself have something different. And I exercise too much. I get burned out. Then I go weeks without doing much of anything. Another recipe for disaster.
My compromise is to not beat myself up for not getting all the required nutritional foods every single day. I eat enough fruits and vegetables most days that if I have a day where I come up short (or have none at all), it’s not going to harm me. I need to come to terms with that. So, I’m going to focus on keeping my mind busy so I don’t have the boredom hunger and I’m going to eat what I’m in the mood for rather than what I “should” eat. And I’m not going to count the calories or points for it.
I’m going to burn a minimum of 500 calories a day and exercise for one hour, but if I don’t go above that, I’m going to be OK with myself. That’s enough as long as I’m not eating too much. And if I have a heavier eating day, I’ll just cut back the next day.
The more I think about food, the more I want to eat. I didn’t used to be like that and I used to not need to lose weight. There’s a correlation there.
I’m still going to keep a food and exercise diary — what I did each day and generally what I ate. But that’s as far as it’s going to go.
Keep an eye on the weight “chart” to the right for the results.
Time for a Change
I’m throwing in the towel and calling UNCLE! I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but my head is just not into this anymore.
I still want to reach goal. I still want to be healthy and exercise and do all the things I’ve been doing. I still want it all.
But I’m tired of trying. It’s not working.
I started out this week pretty good (except that I ate an entire pizza for dinner Saturday night). Despite the pizza, there was hope. I tracked it. I did well. I knew if I got in some good workouts, I’d be fine. Then Tuesday C wanted to go for Mexican and I didn’t have time to work out because I had to meet friends for trivia. Then Wednesday, C took me to lunch at an Indian place. And I didn’t have the energy to work out that evening and on top of that, I ate too much and I ended up not even bothering to track.
Then I woke up yesterday and the run-down feeling I’ve had all week reached a climax. I could barely get out of bed to e-mail work that I wouldn’t be in. I read and slept all day. Exercise wasn’t even on my mind.
Not only did I not have the energy, I didn’t even want to! I always want to.
And, again, I ate too much.
I actually did well until I decided to splurge on a little ice cream.
And then a little more.
So where am I with this? I’m stopping Weight Watchers for a while. I need something that takes less effort and less though. I’m going to try Slim Fast, at least for a week. I used to have a Slim Fast for breakfast every morning a few years ago and it kept me pretty full, so I think I should be OK for a week or two. Just long enough to lose a few pounds and reset.
I don’t recommend it as a diet plan. I don’t think it’s the healthiest or most reasonable way to go. But I need to do something right now and that’s the most obvious.
About The Girl Who Could (Formerly) Eat Anything
Most of my life, I could eat what I wanted, not exercise and remain thin. And then I couldn’t.
I’m five foot three and have been 110 pounds and 166 pounds. I’ve lost 35 pounds and gained back 15. I’ve tried to starve my body into submission. I’ve done Weight Watchers. I’ve counted calories. I exercise. I do it all.
Having been that “naturally thin” girl, learning to cope with my body’s changes has been a learning process and frustrating. I diet for a while (or change my lifestyle, as the politically correct term goes) and then get angry that I even have to diet and quit.
As I begin this blog on August 23, 2010, I weigh 145 pounds. My goal is 115 pounds. Past experience tells me I can reach that by December if I stay motivated. Since I can’t seem to stay motivated on my own, I started this blog to chronicle my efforts, my successes and my setbacks.
I plan to be brutally honest about my eating, my exercising and my inner struggles and feelings. I hope to be funny at times. I don’t promise to post something clever every day, but I will post on a daily basis what I eat and what physical activity I got.
I use www.myfitnesspal.com to track what I eat every day, then figure my point budget on the blog at the end of each day. So, here we go …
For those who are interested, I’m also a writer and have another blog dedicated to musings that have nothing to do with weight loss. You can explore the rest of my garbled brain at An Unexplored Wilderness.
My weight loss progress:
August 22, 2010: 147.5
July 10, 2011: 154.8
July 17, 2011: 152.4
July 24, 2011: 151.2
July 31, 2011: 152.8
August 7, 2011: 150.8
August 14, 2011: 149.4
August 21, 2011: 149
August 28, 2011: 148.4
September 4, 2011: 148.8
September 11, 2011: 150.2
September 18, 2011: 147.4
September 25, 2011: 146.6
April 22, 2012: 153.8
April 29, 2012: 152.2
May 20, 2012: 152.8
August 26, 2012: 153.8
September 2, 2012: 155.8
September 9, 2012: 155.8
September 16, 2012: 156
September 23, 2012: 156.2
September 30, 2012: 158.8
October 6, 2012: 155.4
November 25, 2012: 155.2
December 2, 2012: 152
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